


Adventures in Poetry

by mmmdraco



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-26
Updated: 2012-07-26
Packaged: 2017-11-10 18:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/469373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmmdraco/pseuds/mmmdraco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All stationed at the same boarding school, the pilots must present a poem for an assignment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adventures in Poetry

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

"There once was a little girl  
and her name was Pearl.  
She came from Nantucket  
and carried a bucket.  
With cheesecloth she walked  
and the cheddars that be  
decided that limburger  
was no better than brie.

 

"Monty Jack he was called  
and, gee, he was bald.  
He mixed well with salsa  
when he was in Malta.  
Radiation made him a topping  
for deadly nachos.  
And, nobody ate  
their gazpacho.

 

"Gouda, gouda,  
wanted 'moo'-la  
but American said,  
'Go lie on bread.'  
Extra sharp white  
fell on popcorn,  
now the bleu cheese  
feels forlorn.

 

"Under Cheese Whiz,  
with cracker bits,  
we slice united  
(the knive's excited).  
Cheese in a can  
makes the world go 'round  
so buy your cheese  
by the pound."

Duo finished his dramatic reading of his poem for the English class he was in. "So, Ms. Mackie, how was it?"

The class teacher, a curly-haired young woman named Erin, merely smiled. "Wonderful, Duo. Now, take your seat. Wufei? Would you like to go next?"

Wufei frowned. "Not particularly. However, I would like to get this over with. Everyone, shut up until I'm done, and then you can laugh."

Clearing his throat, Wufei began to speak with a strong Northeastern American accent.

 

"A man named Ollie Walla  
found that he had too much slobba.  
He had a wife named Anna  
who really loved the piana...  
yet, unless she ate a banana,  
all she could play was the 'Star Spangled Banna'.

 

"Then, one day, the piano went dry  
and, oh, how Anna began to cry.  
'Woe is me,' cried the lady, Anna,  
over the malfunction of the piana,  
and she'd just eaten a banana  
so she wouldn't play the 'Star Spangled Banna'.

 

"So, Ollie Walla wet his lips  
and gave those piana strings a kiss.  
Then, he told his lovely Anna  
how he had fixed her piana  
and he'd buy her another banana  
if, one last time, she's play the 'Star Spangled Banna'.

 

"Anna set up, in his car,  
a little spit-collecting jar  
for Ollie to keep under his lip  
so he could help the piana if he began to drip.  
Ollie filled it every day  
and rushed it home without delay  
and now, you know, to this very day,  
the 'Star Spangled Banna' is all Anna can play."

After a short pause, the room erupted into uproarious laughter, more over Wufei's voice than the poem. Yet, since the assignment had only been to write an amusing poem, he felt that the laughing was justified enough, and he took his seat.

Ms. Mackie finally stopped hyperventilating, and called on Trowa to go next. Trowa stepped to the front of the room, then angled his body so that only Quatre was able to see more of his face than a shock of hair. Trowa began to speak in a soft, but strong, voice.

 

"Oh dust, oh dust,  
I sneeze, I must,  
for rolling filth  
and bunny kilts,  
with tumbleweed  
and tumble wide  
and a ketchup bottle  
by my side.

 

"Daintily you fly,  
darkening the sky,  
stirred from your sleep  
to go land on sheep.  
If you see a monkey  
with a shiny behind,  
land on him swiftly,  
if only to be kind.

 

"You enter my nose,  
so I don't hold it closed.  
My nose hair attracts you.  
Wanna touch it?: Ask to.  
Oh boogerlings which I  
must never pass on...  
Will you join me here  
as this dust I do snack on?

 

"Mix you with water,  
save you from slaughter.  
Tickle you silly,  
give you a wet willy.  
All so that I can inhale  
in a moment,  
Dusty horizons.  
Didn't you know it?"

Quatre giggled maniacally, but the rest of the room elicited cricket chirps of confusion and ponderment. "Very nice job, Trowa. I'm not quite sure I understand it, but, perhaps that's best. Quatre, you seemed to enjoy that one. Would you like to go next?" Ms. Mackie asked.

Grinning brightly, Quatre nodded and skipped to the front of the room, beginning to read in a voice that wouldn't be out of place in a Shakespearian theatre.

 

"Post-it notes, baby.  
How I love thee.  
You made me remember  
my appointment at three.  
You showed me a number  
and an address,  
but, for a moment  
I was scared, I confess.

 

"Were you the one  
I was looking for?  
What was I playing  
that on you I took score?  
Why did I write down  
lima beans twice?  
(You know how I feel,  
they're as bad as lice.)

 

"Flintstones vitamins,  
did I get you?  
How 'bout that shoe polish,  
or was it glue?  
Did I remember  
the applesauce?  
If I forgot the cabbage,  
was it such a big loss?

 

"You help me remember.  
I make me forget.  
Those times without you  
I do regret.  
Come, stay with me now.  
Remind me of things.  
Oh, Post-it notes,  
the memories you bring."

Duo blinked. "So, that's how he does it." Heero could barely hear him over the laughter, and he ignored the comment anyway. He knew that he would be next. Everyone else had read their poems. And, none of them had poems quite like his. 

"Heero?" He winced, but he inwardly smiled at the fact that he had been correct. Not answering, he merely stalked to the front of the room, holding a copy of his poem in front of him. He cleared his throat, and wiped his palms on his spandex, trying to swallow the knot of fear that was forming in his throat. Finally, he just began, in his normal monotone, relaxing as he spoke.

 

"It's a hunka, hunka burning paint  
from after that horrendous date.  
You picked up someone named after a jewel  
and showed you were a fool.

 

"You were driving along the way...  
Saw her dress, up her leg, stray.  
She held out her thumb for a ride.  
You opened the door, she stepped inside.

 

"It wasn't long until you saw 1st Ave.  
and thought of what you'd like to have.  
You slipped her some tongue and a twenty,  
then said, 'Something for the money?'

 

"You rounded Stupid's Curve with a grin  
and then, as if on a whim...  
lifted the dress of that nightly chick  
and came face to face with 'her' dick.

 

"And so, ladies, gentlemen, twits..  
I hope you've learned something from this.  
Never trust a lady with a five o'clock shadow,  
or your car might go kersplat-o."

Ms. Mackie sweatdropped, face vaulted, nosebled, then collapsed into a heap on the floor, giggled while one eye twitched. Heero nodded and took his seat.

Duo poked his shoulder. "Hey, Heero... personal experience or something?" He backed off when he felt the gun pressed to his temple. "Okay, Heero, I'll back off. Uh huh. Sure."

They all walked out of the class with hundreds that day.


End file.
